I responded to your email but it was undeliverable. Here is the email I sent to you and it is my hope that you read this and that it encourages you. I don’t know of any other way for you to get this message. Your life does matter and you are not alone.

I was looking at my emails when your comments came in. My wife and I
immediately started praying for you. It sounds like you have been wounded and torn. My heart cries out for you. It is hard to focus on anything else but ourselves sometimes when we are hurt. I am not trying to excuse it, I am merely stating the fact.

I am writing what I am sensing so if I miss it on some things, please
forgive me. My focus is to encourage you and strengthen you. I think
sometimes we can become numb to things around us because of the pain. Things like rejection and separation from those we love are bad enough and then the enemy also comes at us. I don’t know if this will help, but I once saw an illustration in my mind of the sun and the earth and the clouds in between. When the clouds are above us it is hard to believe that the sun is still there, especially in the midst of a wicked storm, but it is. When sin or darkness tries to cover us, this is also like the clouds. Many times I had to meditate on that illustration and just focus on His word. He loves us and there is nothing we can do to change that. These storms will pass and the sun will shine again. Each of us have these seasons we go through and I believe that when we come through them, not only will we be strengthened, but we will have compassion for others who are going through the same things. If it is possible, start praying for others who are going through what you are going through. Pray for their deliverance too. If the enemy is going to come at you, why not rise up and help a few others get free from him while you are at it.

Paul, the apostle, experienced things like this with the thorn in the
flesh. I have too. There were just things I was bent on doing no matter
how hard I tried not to do it. Then came the day when I surrendered that to the Lord also. I said, “Father I can’t overcome this. I need your help and until you help me, here I go.” That was the beginning of the end for this situation. I didn’t have to be perfect, He loves me anyway. He just wanted me to talk to Him. He wanted the relationship more than He did my perfection. He knew how wretched I am inside without Him and yet He still chooses to walk with me everyday. Paul, He forgave every sin you would ever commit over 2000 years ago on the cross. The question we have to answer is, “do we accept His gift and can we forgive ourselves and others?”

I pray that as you read these words, you begin to feel His love flowing
into your heart again. I pray that His anointing so envelopes you that you tingle all over. Let His peace calm your mind and just rest in His love. Let His love lift you up. Let His love heal your heart. I can feel His
love for you as I write these words to you. He loves you so much. It’s not the end of the journey. The best is yet to come. Don’t look with your natural eyes, but focus on His promises to you. Worship Him again and praise Him. Let His grace enable you to walk again and everything else will come natural. Let His healing touch heal your heart, spirit and emotions. Lord Jesus, have your way.

Joseph

Stacey Derbinshire