If you haven’t read Part 1, please do so. This is mainly a continuation of that post. How do two separate individuals find a common ground to build the foundation of their marriage? The intimacy of marriage will expose all the hidden areas of our single life. Our fears will surface at various times, especially during trials and storms. This is a good thing, at least if we allow this time to acknowledge them and ask the Lord to help and heal us. The neat thing about marriage is that we don’t have to go through these weak times alone. We have a partner that understands and is willing to walk with us and pray for us. Marriage is a wonderful thing. The scriptures say, “blessed is the man who finds a wife.” I agree. Christian Mariage - Part 2!

I am by no means what this world calls an expert on marriage or any of the other topics I’ve written about. I write from my experiences in life, what I’ve seen, teachings I’ve heard and what the Lord has taught me. My purpose in writing these posts is not necessarily to be right or correct in every aspect, although I work towards this end, or to have the only answer, but rather to give the reader things to ponder, hope, encouragement and maybe help them to go on for another day.

Marriage can be a blessing or a curse. We live in a society that tears away at marriage. Every where we look we see separation, divorce, cheating, couples living together, exchanging of partners, etc. So, how do you keep your marriage strong. I guess it is a lot like taking care of a garden. It is about tilling and cultivating the soil to keep it soft and aerated. This is like making sure our hearts are soft and not hardened to our spouse or the Lord. Many times habits of the spouse can cause us to harden our hearts to them in a certain way, especially if we start to think they are doing it in spite. Forgiveness must be a way of life in a healthy marriage.

Another thing about the garden is making sure there are no weeds or bad plants allowed to grow in it. These types of things are curses and some of the things that come out of our mouths: “She will never be . . .  He can’t ever . . . We will never get out of this . . .” All these types of phrases sow bad seeds into the garden of our lives and marriage. They will spring up if we don’t uproot them and they will bear bad fruit. Pray for each other. Bless each other with phrases like: “I know this happened now, but we will get through this and we will overcome. We will get the victory.” Your husband is a prince before the Lord. Your wife is a princess. Your children are royalty. Train each other this way. Make it a goal. It is important to believe you are who the Lord says you are. Read the scriptures and accept His truth. It doesn’t matter what others say. The Lord created each of us perfectly. We are the apple of His eye. We are His workmanship. He died to save us and to set us free. If He thinks we are worth it, dare we believe otherwise and call Him a liar?

When good seeds are planted, they must also receive water and sunlight. We need the washing of the water of His Word. Study and read His scriptures. Ask Holy Spirit to help you understand the scriptures. Ask Him for the words you need for each day. Also, you need the light of His presence. Spend time before Him. Receive His anointing and let Him fill you full to overflowing daily. Let His grace empower you. Do this individually and together as a couple.

Spend time together. Be intimate as often as you can. These times can help strengthen your relationship. Take care to take time in this and don’t rush. It matters and is important enough that Paul said not to keep it from your spouse so that the enemy may try to come in. The mind is the battlefield of the enemy. He sends his thoughts to us in various ways including, friends, acquaintances, peers, TV, movies, news, etc. If you sense something is wrong, try asking your mate. “I feel this is happening. It may not be true, but are you okay?” Change the way you say things if you must. Who is important to you? How did you feel about your spouse when you exchanged vows? Don’t let the trials and storms shipwreck that which you’ve worked so hard to build.

If you are reading this and are divorced, remember the Lord accepts and loves you. No matter what happened, He still cares for you. His love doesn’t change. Human love is at best frail and weak. The Lord has something for you. Wait on Him. Let Him put things together. Continue on with your life, one day at a time. Things will change. Healing will come to your heart. There is someone out there for you. Concentrate on you and doing all that you can to make sure that forgiveness flows through you. If you can’t forgive because of all the pain, ask the Lord to forgive through you until His love heals those areas in your heart. You can and it is necessary. If you don’t, the only person you are holding back is yourself. If you don’t forgive, you are tying His hands from forgiving you. Let Him heal you totally so that you are ready for what He has for you. Let Him walk with you. Let Him fill the void and when it’s time, it will be a glorious day for you.

Relationships take work, but they are worth it. Marriage can be the greatest thing that happens in your life or it can be one of the most devastating. Start where you are and include Him. Pray and listen. Listen to what He has for you. Patiently and humbly walk each and every day. Tend to your garden and soon you will smell the sweet fragrance of the flowers. Soon you will hear the sounds of the birds as they sing with joy. Your spirit will be lifted and your countenance will blossom with the joy of the Lord. Dare! Prepare! Sow good seed! Water it! Let the Light shine and let the harvest come. Bless others. Reach out and help someone else who might be going through the same thing. That is the fastest way to healing. Christian Marriage!

Joseph