What is victim mentality? I use this term to describe a victim of some traumatic event where being a victim becomes a way of life or habitual. This person believes that others owe them and cease to do things for themselves that could help them achieve victory. Once a person is caught in its web, how do they get out? How can we become an overcomer? How can we get healed and move on with our life? Victim Mentality!

This is a very difficult place to be. A person in this place can be surrounded by the enemy. First of all, a tragic event has happened. Please note that this can also effect an entire country, people, culture, family or individual. Anytime a traumatic event happens it opens a place for the enemy to come in and wreak havoc, not only on the victim but to those who are close and also to the perpetrator and then also to those who have witnessed the event. We see it all the time in the news. We see the hatred and rage that can develop if it is not handled correctly. We’ve also seen innocent people pulled in and hurt. It can all stop with one person, the victim. I am not saying that victims don’t have rights because they do. I am saying that it is not good to go beyond those rights and inflict more damage. Please hear what I am saying, it will bring freedom and healing.

By dwelling on being a victim, unforgiveness, and pain, one can propel themselves into a downward pattern. Unforgiveness is the fastest way to destroy a person’s life. Regardless of what happens to the perpetrators, the victim’s life is in danger. The scripture says that bitterness rots the bone. There are a lot of fragile bones in people these days. I am not saying that all of it has to do with bitterness, but it does warrant a look. Unforgiveness also leads to self-pity, which is the beginning of a lot of darkness. Self-pity attracts a lot of other things; anger, resentment, rage, finger pointing, retaliation, hatred, homicide, suicide, and I also am convinced mental illnesses. I am not a doctor and I am not attempting to make a diagnosis. I am merely pointing out things I have observed.

Traumatic events happen everyday to people just like you and me. Some are by innocent mistakes and others are done on purpose and premeditated. For the sake of this post, I don’t want to touch on rights and legalities, my purpose in writing is to help the victim overcome on a personal level. Forgiveness is something that is on a personal basis. It can release the victim from many years of pain and help speed up the healing process. When a person chooses unforgiveness, their focus in tuned in to the pain, the wrong done to them and the focus is always on the negative. This eats at the person and their attitude continues to spiral downward to death. One who asks the Lord to help them forgive begins the journey to healing and victory. They become free of the things that want to bring them down. They begin to focus on the positive and begin rebuilding their lives. If they choose to focus on helping others, their healing is even more rapid. People come around those who are trying to recover versus those who spew bitterness out of their mouths. Who would you rather be around? Would you like to be healed or do you want to hang on to the pain and misery? The choice is yours. No one can make choices for you. At the end of your life on earth, it is your choices that determine your place in eternity. We won’t be able to blame someone else. We’ve all heard the saying, “The devil made me do it.” No, the devil tempted you and you chose to give in to the temptation. Eve blamed it on the serpent, but God still held her responsible for her decision as well as Adam. It is our choices along the way that have made us what we have become.

Accidents happen to a lot of people, the question is whether we respond or react to them. If something has happened to you that is so terrible and you feel you can’t go on, please cry out to the Lord and ask Him for help. Send us an email through our form on our contact page if there is no one else and we will respond as soon as we can. If you find yourself in a place of unforgiveness, ask Him to help. Look at what He went through on the cross, yet He could still say, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing!” He took all of the sins we would ever commit upon His back and chose to forgive us in the midst of His agony and pain, so that we might one day be able to come to Him and be saved and totally forgiven. He weighed every choice in the Garden of Gethsemane the night before and I believe He saw each one of our faces and He knew it would be worth it. He made His choice to endure the cross before He felt any blows to His body. He didn’t deserve our hatred. He didn’t deserve to die on our behalf, but He did. No one deserves hell. He knew that, I know that and if you ever have a vision of hell, you will know that too. Even our worst enemies deserve a chance at forgiveness. What they do with it is up to them, but I wouldn’t want to be the reason they’d never have the chance to be changed. I would rather suffer a loss. Some of the people who opposed me the most, have become my friends and some of my friends have turned away. Only the Lord knows the heart.

I’ve been through a lot of pain in my life and I haven’t always responded the way I knew I should. The Lord is just and He will and can protect us. He also gives us the choice to forgive others so that His love can work through us to help others to see Him. We didn’t get what we deserved, for the scripture says that, “the soul who sins shall die” and “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of the Lord.” There were times I had to ask Him to forgive others through me, because I hurt so deep inside. He did and then He healed me to where I could forgive them. He healed me and sent the darkness away. He helped me reach out to others and He healed them too. I had every right to hold on to unforgiveness and to demand restitution, but by doing things His way, He poured so many more blessings into my life than I could have ever imagined.

He is the reason for this web site. He is the reason I can write messages of encouragement. In most cases, I have been there. I have walked the miles, I have felt the pain and through it all I have overcome. I didn’t do it alone. He sent others to me to help me and He was always there for me. He will do the same for you. I am here today because He lives and I know Him personally. He has changed my life and I am forever grateful. I have experienced His mercy, grace, loving kindness, forgiveness, joy, peace, love and every other attribute that is His. I have seen a vision of hell and it is a horrid place and no human being deserves to spend eternity there.

It is my hope that this message has brought you hope. There is life after trauma and tragedy. It may take a while, but you can go on. I hope you reach out for His miraculous love and find a new way of life. There are many religions that claim to know the truth, but there is only one Who is the truth. Search for the truth with all of your heart and you will find it. You will know when you have, because your heart won’t be empty anymore. If I don’t meet you on this earth, I hope to see you in eternity with Him. Never give up. Against all hope, believe that while there is still breath, there is still a chance.

Joseph